Written by Ayushi Misra
JUDGMENT IS FREE OF COST… IT’S EVERYWHERE…IT IS INEVITABLE
There are so many important dates in history, some good, some not so great and some absolutely devastating. Landmark moments, dates that have changed the course of humanity. Its funny though that there is no such set date for when the freedom and liberty to judge others and judge them harshly exists.
Judgment outside the purview of a courtroom has existed for as long as we can remember. Oh My! To think about how these judgments have affected decisions and actions and that have led us to where we are and what our lives are today.
It has become such an intrinsic part of our everyday lives that people have become super conscious of every step that they take. Fear of judgement has also kept a lot of us from going after what we truly want and from pursuing our dreams.
Most times, it can feel too overwhelming.. like the ability to breathe and ‘just be’ isn’t there. Let’s face it, it’s horrible when people judge you; the snarky remarks, the silent whispers, that look of disapproval in their eyes because they feel they know better than you.
It makes way for drama and creates self-doubt, anxiety and helplessness because one can’t help but feel like they have failed. As a result, you stop being true to who you really are and constantly live in a state of fear often basing your self worth on someone else’s approval.
If I have learnt one thing from this, its that you can’t make it go away entirely because people will talk and they will judge…but you can find ways to deal with it so that it doesn’t interfere too much with your day to day life.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
I DO IT TOO! #WHATGOESAROUNDCOMESAROUND
First and foremost, before reacting to anything, realize that you do it too or at least have at some point in your life. You may not have been vocal about it, may not have been as rude or extreme in your ways but you, too, have been judgemental and that’s okay! It’s important to accept it. Get easy about it, find the humour in it. It’s human nature, it happens ever so often, just say to yourself – “Oh Well, I guess it’s my turn now.” and laugh it off.
IT’S JUST THEIR POINT OF VIEW. #GENERALISEIT
When something is said, almost every time it is said through the eyes of self. We speak solely from our perspective because that is really all we have. If you can, don’t take it too personally. Understand that it is their perception and their lens with which they view things. It does not have to shape your reality, it is not personal and it does not have to weigh you down. Keep it general and it won’t hit as hard or maybe not at all.
ARE YOU BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF? #BEREALWITHYOU
When someone says something that pinches you, first ask yourself why you you felt that way? Are you being true and authentic to who you are? You could get carried away and show toxic behaviour and not realise it until it’s pointed out and thats okay. Sometimes, we are the toxic ones and we need to introspect and make some changes. However, if you are being true and honest to yourself then IGNORE IT! What they say just doesn’t and shouldn’t matter.
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU AT ALL #PROJECTION
Please understand that there are a lot of people out there who are just struggling with accepting themselves. People who are bitter and have a lot of unresolved issues, people who haven’t let go of their past. These people have easy access and an outlet to project it all on you.
It’s hard for them to see others have the courage to do what they want or live life on their terms. Pray that they find their strength and peace and are able to heal with whatever it is that they are dealing with.
DON’T DEAL WITH IT #BELIEVEINYOU
After you have been through any necessary introspection, understand the lesson, make notes so you prevent patterns from repeating themselves in the future and toss the rest.
Have faith in yourself, your journey, your belief systems and what you stand for. Acknowledge how cool you are for doing what you do and live life on your terms. KEEP GOING!
You can’t let people scare you. You can’t go your whole life trying to please everyone else. You can’t go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think. Whether it’s your hair, clothes, what you have to say, how you feel, what you believe and what you have. You can’t let the judgment of others stop you from being you. Because if you do, you’re no longer you. You’re someone everyone else wants you to be.” —Steve Maraboli
Passing a judgment costs nothing and is readily available in different degrees. Judgments are second nature to human beings. Can they reduce? If we are conscious & mind our own business, then yes. Can they stop? Maybe not.
But in no way should that stop or interfere with you living your life. As long as you mean well and your conscience is clear, you have to do what’s right for you. You can’t let naysayers and people’s judgements of you stop you from living your life.
About the Author:
Ayushi is the Founder & Owner of Absolutely Yushi.
AY is a curation company that styles small to mid-scale events, designs gifts for Bridesmaids, Celebrations & Brands with an expertise in personalisation.As a curator, her job is to help you select in a world of excess!The Last Single Affair is a sub brand and was the first platform in India to exclusively plan Bridal Showers & Bachelorette Parties.
Her life Mantra – ” Be the protagonist of your own life, live it on your terms & go with the flow.”
